The Bored NPC

It’s been months now, maybe even a year that I stood here undiscovered, and isolated.You’d think that out of the million of players playing this game, SOMEONE would find me and do my quest. But, nope, I alone am the “Easter Egg NPC” hidden away in some corner in the mid tier maps of the game. Waiting to give the first player to complete my quest the most exclusive gear you can get in the game, which in turn is also the best gear you can get; not to mention the copious amounts of gold as well. Funny thing too, all you had to do to complete my quest, was do a simple trading sequence where I give the player, a doll, and after several trades with multiple other NPCs bring me back a boomerang. No fighting involved, no mindless grinding, you just had to know who to talk to, and how. Anyone could do it… anyone at all… What if I did it? What if I didn’t want to stand here forever unnoticed? What if I wanted to be the biggest bad-ass in the game? I could do it. I really could.

Actually, you know what? I will do it.

Turns out walking from place to place takes longer than I thought. Specially without a mount. I wasn’t about to complain about a simple walk around the online world though, certainly beats standing around looking at the same boring scenery day in, day out. Eventually I arrived to my destination, the beginner area and went to to the “Crying Child” NPC which served no purpose besides to trade the doll, since no one knew that the player base had come up with it’s own ridiculous stories and theories as to why it was there, or simply disregarded it as an ambient NPC you could talk to.

“Here’s a Doll.” I selected when I spoke to the “Crying Child NPC.

“sniffle…sniffle… ‘Thanks Knil, for finding my doll. Take my ribbon as thanks.’ The child smiles, and stops crying.”

I leave with ribbon in hand, and go onward with the quest. Little did I know the player base would freak out over the fact that “Crying Child” NPC was no longer crying but stood there contently with a mysterious doll in hand. So with that over the course of a few days small changes happened across the online world, that the biggest fans took note, and many forums exploded in speculation and wonder. So as it goes, the ribbon became Dog Food, which became, a Banana Bunch, which became a Stick. The stick was given to a NPC who loved honey, and would use it to knock down a Bee Hive, get chased away by the bees, and you would acquire a Honey Comb from said Bee Hive. Continuing with the trend, the Honeycomb would become a Pineapple, a Hibiscus to impress a Lady who’d have you deliver a Letter between Pen Pals that would contain a fake picture of herself, to which the addressee will give you a broom to thank you for your troubles. The Broom becomes a Fishing Hook, which nets you a Necklace, which turns out to be a Mermaids precious item, so she give you one of her scales for it. Soon after you take the Scale to a Fisherman who gives you a magnifying glass for it, which shows you the way to the Boomerang.

The whole process took me longer than I expected,but still doable within a day granted you know what to do with each item, having gone through it myself now, I had realized how obscure some of it was, put that with the fact finding where I’m at is a hassle in the first place, I’m one well hidden Easter Egg. I now stood in front of a treasure chest which housed the Boomerang, and as I opened it, there was some retro sounding jingle, that clearly did not originate with this game. With the trade sequence done, all I had to do was talk to myself, who would normally show up here when you open the chest, and complete the quest. Done, and done.

Upon completion, some grand theme music of another game started playing, and I acquired, and was immediately equipped with “The Hero” Gear, along with “The Master Sword” and the “Hylian Shield,” along with all this, I was granted 999 Rupees, 1 of which would max out my gold. My own name, “Knil” reversed and changed to “Link,” with dialogue saying that I was in hiding, and now have found someone worthy of the Title “Hero of Time.” I being born of this game had no idea of what any of this was or meant, strolled out of the cave. Only for the whole online world to be notified of my achievement, and the next thing I knew, I was the biggest NPC celebrity.

Until of course the game was brought down two days later due to copyright claim by some company called Nintendo.

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